Maggie Mae's Birth Story!

 Maggie’s Birth Story

I’m writing this on Maggie’s 1st birthday, but I have notes so we will see if I can remember everything!

Maggie was such a miracle baby! We weren’t really trying to get pregnant, but we weren’t trying NOT to get pregnant. We had some trouble before and had to take medicine to get pregnant with Calvin. I’m not convinced that that’s not what caused his hand deformities. So we do not want to be on infertility medication again if we can help it. All that to say, we were just going with the flow to see what would happen. We found out I was pregnant due to a similar situation when we found out I was pregnant with Wyatt. I had been regularly donating plasma and I got deferred from donating one day because my temperature was too high. The first time I just figured it was a fluke. It was hot outside and it was also still in the middle of Covid in about October 2020. However, I went again a few days later and my temperature was too high again. Jeff was on a work trip and so I texted and told him. He asked if maybe I could be pregnant because this same thing happened when we found out I was pregnant with Wyatt - I got deferred from donating plasma because my temperature was too high. So I went and got a pregnancy test and it was positive! We were so excited!

My pregnancy went pretty well. I had similar symptoms at the beginning. Meaning I was suuuuuper lucky and didn’t have any nausea at all. That made me think we were having another boy. I did, however, have terrrrrible migraines in my first trimester. My OB called them hormone headaches. They would seriously put me out for a few days. That was the one difference between my boy pregnancies and Maggie’s pregnancy. Other similar symptoms I had were terrible heartburn and back pain. 

The day we found out the gender, my sister, Brianna, took the day off of work to make us some gender reveal cupcakes. She got to find out the gender first! At our anatomy scan, we were nervous to see if this baby was growing properly since this was when we found out that Calvin was not growing as expected. But baby was healthy as ever. It was so fun to bite into the cupcakes that my sister made and see the pink frosting. I was in shock. I had convinced myself that baby was another boy. Wyatt always said that it was a girl. Not sure how he knew. But he was right! We were so excited! That night, Jeff and I were laying in bed and we started talking about names. Jeff mentioned the name “Magrat” because it is the silly name of a character in a book he likes. So then we talked about Margaret and calling her Maggie. Again, this was all joking up to this point. But then I said that Maggie was actually really cute. And it stuck. We just went with Maggie though, instead of Margaret. 

I tend to have blood pressure issues at the end of my pregnancies, so one day I was at the store. I was probably 34-35 weeks along and I decided to take my blood pressure at one of the machines that you find near the pharmacy. It was high for me. Like140s over high 90s. The next day I went and took it again to make sure it wasn’t a fluke. It was the same. So I called my doctor, on a Saturday, and got a call back from them while at a bridal shower for our future sister-in-law, Breann, and they had me go into the hospital to get monitored. I was supposed to be delivering at St. Mark’s Hospital so we went there to get monitored. My blood pressure was high but not high enough for them to admit me. I also didn’t have protein in my urine which would have indicated preeclampsia. So they sent me home and I was to follow up with my OB.

I saw Dr. Orr that next week and she wanted to induce me on May 27th. Ironically, this was one day before Jeff’s brother’s wedding, so I tried to get her to move it past the 28th but she didn’t want to do that for my and the baby’s safety. So May 27th it was. What also is funny is that when we found out my due date was June 14th, I really wanted her to be born in May because then our family would have birthdays in February, March, April, May and June instead of skipping May and having two in June. I just thought it would be fun. But I didn’t want it to happen if anything would be wrong with the baby and if we had to stay in the NICU. Luckily, I was able to get some steroid shots and, spoiler alert, we didn’t have to do any NICU time. So I got my wish. My OB, Dr. Orr, asked if we could deliver at Lone Peak Hospital since she was inducing me on a weekday when she was in her office and it’s right next to the hospital. I’m so glad she had us do that because Lone Peak is WAY nicer than St. Mark’s but I had no idea and wouldn’t have known that. Now I don’t want to deliver anywhere else!

May 27th came and we got to the hospital at about 7:30 am. We stopped at Chick-fil-a on our way to get some breakfast! I had wanted to stop at Einstein’s Bagels but we didn’t have time. We left too late. But CFA is still super yummy!

When we got there, we got all checked in and they took us back to a room. This room was like 3 times bigger than the rooms at St. Mark’s. I was in shock! They also told me that you stay in the same room after you deliver! That was crazy to me too since at both St. Mark’s and Timpanogos you get moved to a postpartum room. Maybe it was because of covid, but either way, that was awesome! So we had this huge room we got to stay in!

At about 9:10 am I got started on pitocin and an antibiotic for GBS since I tested positive for it. I started feeling contractions at about 11:00 am. I wanted to wait to get my water broken until after I got my epidural because I remembered with Calvin it really hurt when we did it and also when they tried to put a more direct baby monitor up inside of me. So I got my epidural at about 12:20 pm. It is crazy how you forget how much those hurt. Even as I’m writing this, I know that I’m not fully remembering how much it hurts to get one. But the after effects are fabulous and I can’t imagine doing it another way. I got super itchy after I got it and so they gave me another medication to help with the itching. I’m super glad they had that available! At first I told my nurse that I would be fine and didn’t need it. Then after about 30 minutes of feeling super itchy I told her that I changed my mind and needed the medication. I was just super itchy all over my chest. It was not fun at all. So I got that medication and felt much better! At 12:50 pm, Dr. Orr came and broke my water. It was fabulous. I couldn’t feel a thing!

The next few hours were pretty uneventful. It was super weird to be laboring during the day because with both Wyatt and Calvin I labored during the night. I much prefer to labor during the day because I’m not trying to sleep while they’re coming in to take care of me. And Jeff is also not trying to sleep. It’s way more fun. We watched a lot of some cooking show that I can’t remember the name of now. That’s what I get for writing this a year later. But it was a fun show. We also just talked a lot! Jeff would occasionally go get me a jello because it was the only thing I was allowed to eat. 

I got more GBS antibiotics at 1:00 pm and at 5:00 pm. At some point in there I just felt the need to pee during every contraction. It was so terrible. I had a catheter in, so I shouldn’t have had that feeling. I told my nurse and she said it was probably because I was laying almost all the way down and the epidural goes to the lowest place which would have been my bum. So she moved me to a more upright position and that greatly changed it! I felt so much better. After my nurse gave me my GBS antibiotic at 5:00 pm, she went and got me a slushy. By the time she came back to give it to me I was really feeling all the contractions. During each one I just felt like I needed to poop so bad. I know that that’s a sign that I’m ready to push. So when she came back, she poked her head in to ask which kind I wanted. I thought she still needed to go get it, so I told her I didn’t think she had time to go get it and that I was ready to push. She said she already had the slushy but she had two kinds for me to choose from. So she gave one to me and then checked my dilation. It was 5:45 pm and she said I was fully dilated and ready to push!

The next 20 minutes were the longest 20 minutes of my life. With every.single.contraction I was literally holding her inside. I was squeezing so hard for that 40 seconds that I was contracting just so she wouldn’t come out until Dr. Orr got there. She got there at about 6:00 pm and I started pushing at 6:05 pm. I pushed for three contractions and 8 minutes later, Maggie Mae was born at 6:13 pm. She came out with RED hair and we were shocked! My OB practically yelled, “She has red hair!” Since then, I keep wishing that it will stay and so far it has!

My postpartum recovery went way better than it did with Calvin! If you want to hear that story, ask me and I can tell you about my horrendous story that my OB said she’s never seen happen in her career. But at 6 weeks postpartum, I felt fabulous. Even more so knowing that my body healed properly this time.

I love giving birth. People may call me crazy, but I love it. I would do it 10 more times if I could, but we don’t want that many kids and I don’t think my body could handle it since my blood pressure has been getting worse with each pregnancy. I’m so grateful for modern medicine and that it has helped me bring my beautiful babies into the world! 

This picture was taken just after she peed on me. She didn't have a diaper on yet. I was cracking up because they had just asked me if I wanted a diaper on her and I said no. And then she peed on me.

Calvin was not a fan. He was not sure what to think about her.

Eventually, Cal warmed up. Me and my three beauties.

Calvin's Birth Story (FINALLY!)

I FINALLY wrote down Calvin's birth story! I figured I should get it written down before I give birth to baby #3! Luckily, I took notes while I was in labor to keep track of when things happened!

We were so excited when we found out we were pregnant with Calvin! We’d been trying for over a year and I did a round of Clomid to get pregnant with him. So we were very happy to find out that one round was all it took to get pregnant!

At about 19 weeks pregnant, we found out there was something wrong with Calvin’s arm. They weren’t quite sure what was going on or why it was happening. His left arm was measuring smaller than his right arm and his hand didn’t look normal either. We continued to have ultrasounds with the maternal fetal medicine doctors (high risk doctors) to make sure he was still growing. At about 38 weeks, they told us that they didn’t think his right hand was normal either. His arm looked good, but they could never get a good glimpse of his right hand so they didn’t think it was normal. But they couldn’t tell exactly what was wrong. So we were on the waiting train to find out exactly what was going on. We would find out what things looked like when he was born.

We also had to have a fetal echocardiogram. It was expensive! Mostly because we had it in January and so we were starting over with our deductible. One side of his heart was larger than the other (I can’t remember which side it was now), and there was one part of his heart that they couldn’t see because of his positioning. But they said there was a chance that he would have to be life flighted to Primary’s and have open heart surgery right away to fix the part that they couldn’t see. So we were not excited for that.

At my 38 week appointment, my blood pressure was higher than normal (we had this problem with Wyatt at 39 weeks and had to go straight to the hospital to be induced with him). Luckily, it wasn’t high enough to need to go to the hospital. Dr. Orr told me to take my blood pressure every day and if it got to a certain number to go to the hospital. 

I made it to my 39 week appointment! We scheduled an induction for the following Sunday. I still needed to track my blood pressure to make sure it didn’t get too high. On Saturday, Jeff and I were going to take Wyatt to my parents house and then go see a movie as our last date before the baby came. But, alas, my blood pressure was really high and kept getting higher each time I took it. I was probably too worried about it and causing it to get higher. So instead of going to a movie, we went to the hospital. My blood pressure there was normal. So frustrating! But they decided to keep me since I’d be coming in the next morning anyway.

We were admitted to St. Mark’s Hospital around 9 pm. It took them a little bit to get a hold of Dr. Orr. But she got there and broke my water at about 10:30 pm. It was a sleepless night for me. Jeff was able get a little bit of sleep. I was really uncomfortable with contractions but they didn’t want to give me the epidural yet so that it wouldn’t wear off. I also think there was only one anesthesiologist at the hospital at the time and they were in doing a C-section. The nurse gave me some type of pill, not sure what the name was, but it was supposed to take the edge off of the contractions and make me a little woozy. It definitely made me woozy, but I don’t feel it did much to help with the contractions.

Finally, at 3 am, the anesthesiologist came in to give me the epidural. We woke Jeff up so he could help with it. He came in front of me and held my hands. I had a contraction, and Jeff, still being a little tired, was trying to help me breathe through it but his breath smelled so bad! I felt bad for saying it, but I was in labor and in pain, but I had to ask him to stop breathing in my face! I thought it was a little bit funny. So did the nurse and the anesthesiologist. 

At about 5:00 am they started me on pitocin to help the labor move along. They didn’t have to put me on too much, which I was grateful for. I was scared to get induced again since I had to have a C-section with Wyatt when I was induced with him.

The pitocin worked because at 7:15 am I was at 10 cm dilated! I was ready to push! It was pretty exciting. We had to wait a little longer for Dr. Orr to get there. I started pushing at 7:39 am. It was definitely a different experience than I had with Wyatt. But it was so good. I loved giving birth vaginally and it was so exciting (recovery was a different story). Jeff’s sister, Kaylee, came at around 8:30 am to help take pictures of the birth and be a part of the excitement!

At 9:44 am on Sunday, February 24, 2019, Calvin Leland Sandberg was born! He came out screaming and moving his left arm all around. He looked beautiful! We were excited to see him moving his arm because we weren’t sure what things were going to look like. Everything was good with his heart and he got to stay at St. Mark’s Hospital with us like any normal baby!

He was born with his left arm shorter than his right, and with only 3 digits -  a thumb and two fingers. The two fingers were fused together. His right hand also only had a thumb and two fingers, but were normal other than missing two digits. At a later appointment with a cardiologist, we also found out that he had a small VSD and a bicuspid aortic valve instead of a normal tricuspid valve. He should be able to live a normal life with a few adjustments in how he does things. We are so excited to see him grow up and see all the amazing things he is going to do in his life!

FAST FORWARD

Calvin was supposed to have surgery on his arm in March 2020. But because of Covid-19, that got cancelled since it was an “elective” surgery. We were finally able to reschedule it for July 10, 2020. I was the only one that was able to go to the hospital with him. It was a four hour surgery. Along with separating his fingers and rotating his thumb, he had a hypospadias repair done. The surgery was successful and he now has two separate fingers. They still don’t work quite as normal, but he will learn how to adjust and do things his own way.

Pictures of Calvin's surgery date.

Thanks for reading!

Ashley.

Wyatt's Birth Story: Unplanned C-Section

I wanted to write down Wyatt's birth story so that I could remember it. I figured this was an easy way to do it. So here goes.

It all started on Thursday April 7th, 2016. It was a week before my due date. I had my regular doctors appointment. Jeff was able to get work off and come with me. We thought it would just be a regular appointment and everything would be fine. One of Jeff's coworkers actually went into the hospital that same day. On the way to the appointment, we joked about us also going to the hospital and being down the hall from Jeff's coworker. Well, we got to the doctor and I had my non-stress test first. Everything was fine there. I wasn't even having any contractions that the monitors were picking up Then we went back to the waiting room and  waited to be called back to see the doctor. The nurse came and got us. She sat me down and took my blood pressure. It was about 150/100! That's pretty high and almost to the preeclampsia ranges. The nurse said that she was going to have the doctor come and talk to us about it. The doctor came in and said that he was going to send us to the hospital to be monitored to see if I needed to be induced. He told us to go home and grab our stuff and go to the hospital. He said to probably plan on staying and having the baby that day. I asked him who the doctor was at the hospital that day and he said that it was Dr. Wolsey. My heart dropped. I go to a group of 9 doctors and he was the only one that I had not had an appointment with! I was also intimidated by his picture and so to hear that he would be delivering my baby was kind of scary! I had a feeling that this would happen and now it was! But, that's just my luck! (He ended up being super nice.)

Anyway, we couldn't believe it! The funny thing was that I was supposed to take a test that day and I had planned on taking it before the doctors appointment but I didn't feel ready enough for it so I thought I could take it after my appointment. But the joke was one me! God had a different plan. So Jeff and I went home and grabbed our stuff as if we were going to stay at the hospital. On our way to the hospital we stopped at Culver's so that Jeff could get some food because he was hungry :)

We got to the hospital at about 4:00 pm and they took us to a room. They put baby monitors on me and a blood pressure cuff. They took my blood pressure about every 5 minutes. In the hour and a half they were monitoring, my blood pressure didn't get any better. I was even having contractions which was weird because of the fact that I didn't have any contractions earlier at the doctor. However, I was not even feeling the contractions. The nurse came in at one point and asked if I was feeling the contractions because they were pretty strong on the charts. I said that I wasn't feeling them and she was super surprised. But it was really nice that I wasn't feeling them! At about 5:30 the tech came in and told us that we'd be staying and got some information from us. The nurse came in and took me off the monitors. Then the doctor came in to check to see how dilated I was and to see how my swelling was. Then the nurse took us to a different room that was bigger and that had a window! It was really nice. The room we were in was quite cramped and I didn't particularly want to give birth in that room. The nurses were about to have a shift change but the nurse put an IV in me so the next one wouldn't have to come in to do it.

Things were getting real and we were super excited to become parents. We called our families and my mom and sister headed down from Salt Lake to be there with us when the baby was born. At this point it was about 6:30 pm. So I was hooked up to an IV,  had a blood pressure cuff on me, a baby heartbeat monitor, and a uterine contraction monitor. That's quite a bit! My nurse told me that getting an epidural early would be good for my situation because it could bring down my blood pressure. The doctor had talked about how they could give me magnesium that would bring down my blood pressure but it would offset the pitocin. The magnesium would slow labor while pitocin would be trying to make labor go faster. I didn't want to get the epidural right away because (I'm crazy) I wanted to feel labor pains just so I could experience what it felt like. They said that was fine and that they would just watch my blood pressure and make sure it didn't get too high or they would have to start magnesium. They upped my pitocin dose to make the contractions stronger (I was still not feeling them.)

My mom and sister got there and I started feeling the contractions. They were getting so bad that I decided to get the epidural. It was about 8:00 pm when the anesthesiologist came in to give me the epidural. He explained the procedure and then we got started. I swung my legs over the side of the bed. The nurse and Jeff were there in front of me to make sure I was okay and I was able to hold Jeff's hand. I love him so much. It was so great to have him there and that he was available to be there. The epidural wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. It did hurt like a bee sting, but it wasn't unbearable. After he was done giving the epidural, he left and the nurse stayed because she was supposed to stay in the room for 20 minutes to make sure everything was fine. This was where it got scary! I almost died! Okay, probably not. But it was still scary. They were taking my blood pressure like every minute or so and it was dropping fast! I felt like I couldn't breathe! The nurse left to get the anesthesiologist back in the room and they both came back pretty fast and the anesthesiologist had a syringe with some medicine in it. He came to my side of the bed and I told him I needed to sit up. He asked why and I said it was because I couldn't breathe. He asked if I was feeling nauseous and I said that I was. The nurse gave me a barf bag! Luckily I didn't puke. My blood pressure got down to about 74/40 within a matter of minutes. The anesthesiologist put the medicine in my IV line and it only took seconds for it to take affect and I felt much, much better. I was glad that nothing worse happened!

After the epidural kicked in, I felt so good!! Jeff, my mom, and my sister were laughing at me because I was just laying on the bed and kept saying "Man, I feel so great right now. Next time I'm just getting the epidural to begin with. What was I thinking?!" It was literally night and day. What else was nice was that I still had control over my leg movements. The nurses would come in to check to see how dilated I was and I would just move my legs for them. They were impressed. However, I had started shaking uncontrollable. The nurse said that this was normal and that it could be a sign that my labor was moving right along. The shaking would come and go but it was really bad at points and it was quite annoying.

At about 10:30 pm the nurse came in and said that the baby's heart rate was dipping during my contractions. It would come back up after the contraction but it was to the point that they were going to try some things to get it to not dip. Before they did anything to possibly help with this problem, they told me that a C-section was very likely. A anesthesiologist came in to talk to me about what would happen if I ended up having a c-section; another nurse came in to have Jeff sign some papers; other nurses came in to do things on the machines; my doctor came in to check on me and talk to me about the c-section; my room was a hopping place for a bit and it was kind of scary to have that many people in my room at one time because I knew things were pretty bad. Before fully deciding to give me a c-section, they wanted to try some things to see if they could keep Wyatt's heart rate up. First the put an in-utero baby monitor on Wyatt's head so they could get a better track on his heart rate. They also put something inside me to better track my contractions. They also started an amnioinfusion to put water back inside my uterus. Warning - TMI - I had three different tubes/probes stuck up me plus a catheter. It was quite crowded down there. To help, they rolled me on my side and put a peanut ball between my legs. It was actually quite comfortable. The amnioinfusion seemed to help things because the nurse didn't come back for a while.

Around 12:45 am, the nurse came back in (she had checked on me before as well) to check to see how dilated I was and she accidentally knocked off Wyatt's heart rate monitor. The charge nurse came in to put another one on him. Once they got it on him, it showed that his heart rate was dipping again during contractions. They think that because I had to move for them to get the monitor on again that it interfered with the progress that I was making without having Wyatt's heart rate dipping down low. They called my doctor and he came to check on me. At this point I was dilated to an 8 at rest and a 9 during a contraction. My doctor said that we were going to do a c-section to get Wyatt out safe and sound. While all the nurses were prepping for the surgery, the doctor sat down in my room again and had me push a couple times to see if we could successfully push Wyatt out. After a few pushes he said that we were going to go to the operating room, check me again, and then fully decide if we were going to do a c-section. (My group of doctors have one of the lowest c-section rates in America. Meaning they don't do emergency c-sections unless absolutely necessary.)

They wheeled my bed to the operating room - with me shakin' like a dog! I left Jeff, my mom, and Brianna back in the room. They were going to get Jeff dressed in operation clothing and then have him come to the OR. I was really emotional as we were getting to the OR. I knew everything was going to be fine, but I was more bummed that I didn't get to have a normal vaginal birth. That's what I had been emotionally and physically preparing for. So finding out that I was going to have a c-section put a damper on my emotions. Once we got there, my doctor spend a few minutes checking me again and having me push a couple of times. He ultimately decided that a c-section was necessary to get Wyatt out in a good time. I got more emotional at this point because he had decided that we were for sure doing a c-section. My doctor was so great and said, "It's going to be alright, hun. He's going to be fine." My doctor was such a sweetheart, I don't know why I was so intimidated and scared of him. I'm silly.

They moved me over to the operating table and the charge nurse started shaving where they were going to cut. Then they were cleaning me and sterilizing the operating site. Looking back on this moment, I get really embarrassed because I realize that practically my whole bottom half was completely exposed to about 10 different medical personnel who were in the room. I know that they get that all the time because it's their job, but it still makes me feel kind of embarrassed just thinking about it! :)

The anesthesiologist started talking to me and helping me get situated so that he could do his job. They had my arms strapped to these side tables (with nice cushiony blankets - for comfort), not so that I wouldn't move, but so that I didn't have to worry about not moving. They put the sheet up in front of my face so I couldn't see what was going on...and for sterile purposes. Then I heard Jeff come in the room. This is when I got really emotional. I knew it was going to happen too. I knew that once I saw his face and heard his voice I would just start crying rivers of tears. And I did. It was just great to have him there by my side... or face... I was in a scary situation and so it was just nice knowing that he was there with me.

The actual surgery went pretty quickly. At one point near the beginning the anesthesiologist said something along the lines of, "Well, we just made a nice sized incision in your tummy and you didn't flinch an inch so I think you're pretty well numbed down there!" It was nice to know that I didn't feel anything when they were cutting me. The anesthesiologist was so nice. He was talking me through everything. He told me when I was going to feel more pressure or whatever was going on. At this point though, I was listening keenly for the first cries of my baby. I knew that I would cry even more when I heard him cry. It was really weird to feel them taking him out. I just remember feeling a ton of pressure as they moved him down lower in my abdomen and then the pressure release as they took him out. Then I heard it. Those sweet baby cries. It was 1:32 am and I was completely and uncontrollably crying now. Jeff went over to be with Wyatt as he was getting cleaned off. Then I saw him. They put him on the weight table that was right in my line of sight. He was the most beautiful thing that I had ever seen. Jeff got to hold him and they brought him over to me so I could see him. I gave him a kiss and then they put him in a bassinet and a nurse took him and they left with Jeff right behind.

It is crazy, but I honestly don't remember practically anything past that up to the point that I was feeding Wyatt for the first time. I think I vaguely remember coming back to the room and saying goodbye to my mom and Brianna, but I'm not completely sure. It's like I completely blacked out, but I asked and they said I was awake the whole time. I just could not remember them sewing me up, taking my epidural out, transferring me from the OR bed to a regular hospital bed, putting compression things on my lower legs, and rolling me back to the room. There is absolutely no recall of that. That is crazy because something like that has never happened to me! It's kind of scary to not be able to remember about 2 hours of my life. (It was from about 1:40am to 3:30am that I can't remember)

It was so great to have my precious babe in the world. In my next post I'll talk about our time in the hospital. The first 24 hours were the worst!

If you got to this point, great job! Thanks for reading! :D

-Ashley Sandberg

The other side....PRO Beard Policy

To beard or not to beard?

Walking around BYU campus is like looking in a bowl full of jellybeans: I see many different kinds of people.  However, the thing that catches my eye the most is when I see a male student with facial hair that is not in line with the Honor Code.  When I see this, I think to myself, “How is he getting away with that?”  I’ve never experienced a person being turned away from the testing center because of facial hair violations, but I know that it happens.  Many students prefer to have facial hair, which is against BYU’s Honor Code.  And so I ask, how does BYU impact their students by maintaining their Honor Code standards on facial hair?

BYU has set standards for a reason.  They don’t want to be like the rest of the world.  They want their students to stand out amongst the many people in today’s society. BYU administrator, Lawrence Benson, said, “Beards do not belong here at BYU.  They are a way of expressing individual difference and uniqueness.  But what we are going for here at BYU is to repress our inner selfish desires and conform to what the Lord wants us to be.”  At this point in time, the Lord has said that beards are not allowed on campus.  If we, BYU students, follow the rules that have been given to us and that we agreed to follow, it will be beneficial in providing life lessons.

In the 1970s, the beard policy was in place because beards were associated with hippies, druggies, and protesters.  One could argue that beards don’t have that same association any more and so BYU should change their standards.  However, beards can be associated with similar and same things such as homelessness, hipsters, rebelliousness, terrorism, and druggies.  If you see a man with white hair, a long white beard, and some scrubby looking clothing, you see a homeless man.  If you see a man with white hair, a long white beard, and a red suit, you see Santa Claus.  The only difference between a homeless man and Santa Claus is a red suit. 

One life lesson that we can learn is that we need to associate ourselves with good things.  Satan tries to get us little by little.  Something that my husband and I have recently noticed is the growing popularity of the shirt with an upside down star on it.  We found out that the upside-down star is a symbol of Satan.  A person that doesn’t support Satan probably would not wear that shirt just because it looked cool if they knew the meaning of it.  Now I’m not associating beards with Satan, I’m just trying to make a point that we need to uphold our physical appearances.  “A let-down in personal appearance has far more than physical significance, for when ugliness gets its roots into one part of our lives it may soon spread to every other part.” (The Quest for Excellence, Bookcraft, p. 38.)  By maintaining their standards, BYU is allowing its students to uphold their physical appearance.

To go along with physical appearance, we’ve been told to model our dress and grooming after the apostles and prophets of the church.  Elder Nelson said, “To bear the priesthood means you have a personal responsibility to magnify your calling.  Let each opportunity to serve help to develop your power in the priesthood.  In your personal grooming, follow the example of the living prophets.  Doing so gives silent expression that you truly comprehend the importance of the Holy Priesthood, after the Order of the Son of God.”  By following the example of the living prophets in our personal grooming, we learn that we need to look to them in all things.  If we can follow after them in one simple thing, it will make it easier to follow their counsel on other things that are more important.  According to one of my previous stake presidents, it is an unwritten rule that stake presidents and bishops should not have facial hair.  It is also a rule that in order to be an ordinance worker at the temple, you have to be clean shaven.  As we follow the example of the prophets and those we see leading us in our congregations, we also set an example for those around us, specifically those that we will be parents to.

With BYU maintaining their standards, it also teaches us ways to be good parents.  Just because our kids are throwing tantrums or disobeying rules, does not mean that we adjust and make our rules the way they want them.  As a parent, you don’t immediately give in to your children.  It will make it look like they can disobey rules and throw tantrums and then you will allow them to do whatever they were throwing a tantrum about.  When a child is objecting to rules you have set, you look at the rules and decide later whether you need to adjust your rules or not.

Another life lesson BYU teaches us is that just because everybody else is doing it doesn’t make it cool or right.  If that were the case, cohabiting would be allowed, premarital sex would be allowed, and BYU would sell caffeinated drinks on campus.  The only one in that list that is not church doctrine is the caffeine.  The prophets have never stated that caffeine is against the word of wisdom, yet BYU still does not sell it on campus.  Maybe we should petition for BYU to change that standard as well.  Even if we did, it’s probably not going to happen anytime soon.

One last lesson we can learn is obedience.  Just because we don’t understand a rule or don’t want to follow it does not mean that we can disobey that rule.  Whether we are at home, work, school, or church, we have to obey the rules.  If there is a certain dress code at your work and you decide one day that you don’t want to wear your uniform so instead you wear your everyday clothing, you could probably get fired from your job.  So you decide to follow the dress code because you don't want the consequences of not.  We can learn to follow the rules, or we can learn to follow them later.  For me, I’d rather take the casserole out of the oven now before it gets burnt.

BYU is a great example of upholding their standards and not giving in to peer pressure.  They have not lowered their standards just because someone asked them to.  BYU continues to make sure that they stand out against the backdrop that many people are trying to blend in with.  The students at BYU will continue to learn life lessons as they follow the standards that BYU has set for them.  Now if only we can do that.  With all this, what other life lessons can you learn from BYU’s actions?